Social Nutrition or Social Malnutrition: Addressing Loneliness in Ourselves and Others

As social animals, we all require social nutrition, which involves regular and meaningful interactions with others (Kornblith et al., 2022). The absence of this vital nourishment can lead to social malnutrition or loneliness, a profoundly personal experience that arises from the gap between our desired and actual social connections. Loneliness is not the same as social isolation. While isolation can be measured objectively, loneliness is a subjective feeling (Holt-Lunstad, 2018). One can have a small social circle and not feel lonely. Conversely, one can have many social contacts and still feel lonely.  

Author Gail Honeyman depicts loneliness through the protagonist’s internal dialogue in her novel Eleanor Oliphant Is Completely Fine.

Most people’s absence from the world would be felt personally by at least a handful of people. I, however, had no one. I do not light up a room when I walk into it. No one longs to see me or to hear my voice. I do not feel sorry for myself, not in the least. These are simply statements of fact (2017, p. 225)

Social nutrition promotes good health (Office of the U.S. Surgeon General, 2023). Those with strong social relationships tend to live longer, have better health, and report better well-being. In contrast, those who are lonely have an increased risk of all-cause mortality (Leigh-Hunt et al., 2017), heart disease, stroke (Valtorta et al., 2016), and dementia (Sutin et al., 2020).

The link between psychological well-being and loneliness is not a one-way street. Psychologically healthy people are more likely to create meaningful relationships; however, “the casual arrow flows more strongly from relationships to mental health than vice versa” (Braithwaite & Holt-Lunstad, 2017, p. 120). This bidirectional relationship underscores the complexity of the issue and the need for comprehensive solutions, as addressing loneliness is not straightforward.

The link between loneliness and health is plausible in light of human evolution. Being part of a social group meant protection from predators and greater access to shared resources, such as food and shelter. Although being connected to others is less essential for immediate survival today, individuals who lack social contact may feel easily threatened, potentially triggering physiological responses of alarm or danger.

The link between social support and health is likely multidetermined (Holt-Lunstad, 2018). Social support can lead to instrumental support (access to resources through the provision of concrete material aid), informational support (the provision of helpful information), or emotional support (the provision of empathy and understanding, which reduces physiological arousal and produces a sense of calm and well-being; Cohen, 2004). Additionally, individuals with social support tend to exhibit better healthcare habits (Farrell et al., 2022). Perhaps social support reduces stress, which can lead people away from unhealthy habits, such as smoking or drinking alcohol to excess. Perhaps those with social support have others around them who encourage healthy living habits.

Social Malnutrition

Not all social relationships are healthy, however. Some social contacts may be considered the equivalent of social junk food because they are not nourishing. They may not provide instrumental or informational support; instead, they may cause emotional distress.

Negative or highly ambivalent social relationships can harm a person’s health. In their analysis of data from the National Social Life, Health, and Aging Project, Bookwala and Gaugler (2020) found that negative relationship quality, particularly criticism from one’s partner, increased the risk of mortality among older adults. Those who live in ambivalent social relationships have higher blood pressure and shorter life spans for a variety of reasons, including cardiovascular disease, cancer, and infectious diseases (Holt-Lunstad & Clark, 2014).

Social media has a mixed impact on social relationships. It allows contact between friends and family from a distance that was previously not possible. It can also afford marginalized groups, such as transgender individuals, a means of offering and receiving mutual support and a validation of their rights and emotions across geographical boundaries. Social media also enables individuals to feel connected through a common theme (e.g., sports fans) with people from different cities or states, even if they do not know their actual neighbors in the house next door.

However, a downside of social media is that it makes it possible to prioritize virtual contact over in-person contact. This can easily prevent individuals from associating with people of diverse backgrounds and viewpoints (Dunkelman, 2014). According to Dunkelman, losing a sense of community erodes tolerance for people in our neighborhood, promoting phobic avoidance and, ultimately, indifference. What remains is a narrow form of interaction, both in our homes and on our phones, outside our immediate community, with only those selected because they are family, close friends, or share similar beliefs and experiences (Thompson, 2025).

Also, many social media contacts are unproductive, and heavy involvement in social media among adolescents is associated with poorer mental health (Azagba et al., 2024). Although the reasons for this correlation with poor mental health are not fully understood, social media contacts may result in a devalued sense of self when one compares themselves to an often hyped-up, misleading, and/or false representation of others’ lives in their social media posts.  

Participation in divisive hate groups is another form of social malnutrition. Although participation in such groups could increase a sense of belonging and meaning, such acceptance comes at a cost. Participation in such groups requires adherence to ideologies of racial or in-group superiority, which reduces their empathy for, and alienates them from, many of their neighbors who could have been a source of social support (Rein, 2025). Furthermore, acceptance is not unconditional; it is contingent on adherence to false ideologies. The authors speculate that thinking for oneself or questioning the dominant ideology could lead to alienation and targeting of the individual, thereby increasing fear of non-conformity.

Healthy social contacts promote prosocial values, bring people together, establish bonds of mutual trust, and embed individuals in a protective and reciprocal social network in which they can express love or actively promote the growth and well-being of others (Fromm, 1963).

Promoting Social Nutrition Among Ourselves

In addition to maintaining social contacts in their personal lives, psychotherapists function more effectively when they are connected to and part of a vibrant professional community. Psychologists who labeled their peers as exemplary had solid social relationships with peers, spouses, friends, and others (Coster & Schwebel, 1997).

Johnson et al. (2012) have promoted a socially embedded work life and used the term competence constellation to refer to “a consortium of individual colleagues, consultation groups, supervisors, and professional association involvements that is deliberately constructed to ensure ongoing multisource enhancement and assessment of competence” (p. 566). These connections can provide up-to-date information on emerging trends in the field, provide an informal source of monitoring in which colleagues could speak up if they saw someone engaging in dangerous or less-than-optimal practices, be available for emotional support when things are stressful, and also offer instrumental support in the form of sharing information on local resources (e.g., an excellent psychiatrist to refer to or loaning psychological assessment materials). It could be a network of lifelong learners who continually stretch their knowledge base and challenge their assumptions. Consequently, it is not surprising that socially embedded psychologists are less likely to experience burnout (Yang & Hayes, 2020).

It can be challenging for professionals with independent practices to establish a positive professional network. They can start by making relationships a priority by:

• Keeping up with their colleagues from graduate school/internship and offering to meet for lunch, Zoom get-togethers, or other social engagements.

• Joining a local, state, or specialty psychological association and offering to participate in a committee/workgroup or present their ideas at a workshop or continuing education presentation.

• Volunteering or accepting a consulting position at a local agency where they can connect with others and learn about local resources.

• Creating ongoing connections with colleagues through consultation groups, Balint groups, journal clubs, or other venues.

These activities require some initial investment in time and energy. Nonetheless, these connections will pay off in terms of the quality of one’s work and work satisfaction.

Promoting Social Networks Among Our Patients

Some causes of loneliness can only be addressed at the macro level, such as through policies that reform the practices of social media companies or through political leaders prioritizing national unity over division.

Other causes of loneliness may be addressed at the micro level. Of course, developing a strong therapeutic alliance with patients is a crucial element of effective treatment. Additionally, psychotherapists may help patients who feel lonely build healthy relationships within their natural social networks. Because loneliness does not have a single cause, psychotherapists should consider multiple intervention options based on individual needs. Sometimes, interventions can be basic, such as providing a hearing aid, ensuring transportation for those who cannot drive, or creating opportunities to participate in social groups. Joining a community choir or other forms of volunteering, for example, may alleviate loneliness for some individuals and confer significant health benefits to specific patients.

At other times, individuals may hold maladaptive beliefs about their relationships, which can hinder their ability to interact easily with others. For example, some patients may focus so much on their negative thoughts or become so hypervigilant for rejection cues that they are unable to maximize the quality and quantity of their social relationships.

Finally, other interventions may help patients maintain and preserve existing relationships. Sometimes, this involves learning basic communication skills, such as listening attentively to others or respectfully expressing one’s needs. Of course, relationship attitudes and behaviors may be influenced by an individual’s attachment style, experiences in social modeling (observational learning), value system, social opportunities, or temperament. Psychotherapists may need to combine two or more interventions to benefit some patients.

Practice Pointers

The quality of an individual’s life depends, to a large extent, on the quality of their relationships with others. Therefore, the best psychologists strive to maintain strong relationships with their peers and patients. They recognize that the quality of their work-life depends, in part, on the extent to which they receive feedback, support, and information from others in the field. In addition, they recognize the importance of assessing and intervening to address loneliness in their patients.