SAP Who’s Who: Dr. Susan Heitler

Who’s Who: Dr. Susan Heitler

Can you tell me about your educational background and professional experience?

I enjoyed undergraduate school at Harvard, went to Boston University for a Masters Degree in education, and then applied to NYU for a clinical psychology PhD where I almost didn’t get accepted.

For the opportunity to earn my doctorate, I therefore thank Paul Wachtel, psychologist and at that time an NYU professor.  I had met Paul and his wife Ellen on a group trip to Russia.  When Paul heard that I had applied to the PhD program, he took it on himself to check the status of my application.  Discovering that it had been tabled because I had noted that I would need a scholarship of some sort, Paul pulled my application, suggested to the admissions committee that they take a second look, and encouraged them to give me an interview.  The rest is history.

What do you see that’s missing in the psychotherapy field?

When a married person seeks help for distress, he or she is likely to end up in individual therapy.  The result: violations of psychologists’ two most fundamental ethical principles: beneficence and non-maleficence. 

For multiple reasons, to be most helpful (beneficence) with a married client, a therapist needs to include from the outset, in at least some sessions, the spouse. 

Similarly, to avoid harming (maleficence) a married client, their spouse, the marriage, and indirectly also the children in the family, it is vital that a therapist offer the option of individual sessions for both spouses plus, as needed, couple format sessions, with which-when determined as the case unfolds. 

The bottom line: too few individual therapists have had enough couples therapy training to do the combined couple/individual therapy that enables maximum benefit and avoidance of harm with married clients. 

I’ve been giving CE workshops (See therapyexpresss.com) on this disturbing ethical dilemma. 

In addition, to help rectify the insufficient couples therapy training of most therapists, I’ve recorded a semester-equivalent self-paced online APA-accredited CE course at EffectiveCouplesTherapy.com.

What accomplishments in your career do you feel best about?

It’s exhilarating to see that my blogposts on psychologytoday.com have garnered over 26 million views.  I’ve recently organized the topics of the 300+ posts on my TherapyHelp.com website so it’s easier for folks to find what interests them. When I look at the posts, I’m stunned by how many there are.  I must have spent a lot of time chained to my writing desk.

It’s been satisfying also to have been able to do enough time at my desk to publish 6 books.  These focus especially about how to do win-win collaborative conflict resolution.

In the 1990’s, in response to Paul Wachtel and others’ launching of the integrative therapy movement (SEPI), I wrote From Conflict to Resolution, offering therapists an integrative treatment map centered around conflict resolution.

Having contributed first to the professional literature, I then wrote The Power of Two, a book and workbook combo to help couples (and therapists!) learn the communication and conflict resolution skills essential for marriage success. 

My least well-known but probably favorite of my writings though is Prescriptions Without Pills.  That book elaborates on what I call ‘The Hand Map,” a new way of understanding the causes and cures for the three negative emotions therapists most frequently treat: anger, depression, and anxiety. See prescriptionswithoutpills.com  which, like my therapyhelp.com site, offers a batch of free video examples of therapy techniques, handouts, and more.

At the same time, as I look back, I realize that the most gratifying of my activities as a psychologist continues to be clinical work.  After 50 plus years, I still deeply enjoy helping couples transform their relationship from divisiveness and distress to a loving partnership. 

The bottom line: Thank you Zoe for encouraging me to take a look in my rear-view mirror.  I see there how much I have been blessed to have been able to participate in this ever-rewarding business of helping folks live more satisfying lives. 

Interested in more from Dr. Heitler? Please see this link for her TedxTalk!