I’ll Rest When I’m Dead: A Student’s Guide to Self-Care Amidst the Hustle Culture of Graduate School

There have been many times throughout graduate school where self-care did not feel like it was for me or that it was even allowed to be for me. Who really has time as a graduate student to practice self-care, let alone regularly? While I was informed about the importance of self-care as a fundamental practice for managing burnout in graduate school, it also felt like a luxury I could not afford. It seemed like a profound concept that was meant to be forgotten if I wanted to be a competitive trainee and try to graduate on time. However, conversations surrounding self-care continued to present with both clients (where self-care was always encouraged) and fellow trainees (where a lack of self-care was commonplace), emphasizing the imbalance between what trainees are taught about self-care for clients and what trainees are taught about self-care as a professional. Through the available research and in collaborating with other trainees and colleagues, I learned I was far from alone in the struggle to understand my individual self-care needs while mitigating feelings of frustration and a lack of support from the profession to realistically integrate self-care practices throughout graduate training and into the field.

A Snapshot of Graduate Student Stress

The concept of graduate student self-care has been studied and investigated for decades. In a study published almost 20 years ago on the mental health of full-time graduate students, it was shown that 46% of participants endorsed frequently feeling overwhelmed (Hyun et al., 2006). Approximately half the participants considered seeking mental health services with only 31% confirming they received any services while in graduate school. From this data, the authors suggested several policy considerations for graduate schools to provide more adequate support for students, including prioritizing mental health resources, creating programs to foster social support, and examining how institutional goals can place undue burden on students.

Despite the research recommendations from years ago, stress among graduate students continues to be a significant concern. A recent study of clinical psychology trainees examined trainee workload, training culture, burnout, and overall mental health (Hunt et al., 2025). The authors found that participants reported working approximately 50-60 hours a week with most students reporting they still could not get everything done. Additionally, 67% of participants indicated they were severely emotionally exhausted. An important discrepancy was revealed demonstrating that 70% of participants reported their programs’ faculty discussed self-care although 83% of participants reported self-care was not a priority in their programs despite these discussions. This study highlights how graduate school remains a stressful environment for students and simply talking about the importance of self-care is not enough.

Factors of Graduate School Contributing To Stress

High Workload

Hunt et al. (2025) highlight how experiencing stress, burnout, and a lack of self-care in graduate school is not an individual issue and is actually a common experience shared among trainees, with long work hours and a high workload identified as significant contributing factors. Work-life balance has also been shown to be important for graduate students’ reported quality of life (Yusuf et al., 2020). Working long hours in any job can be stressful and make it difficult to balance the demands of work-life and home-life; however, there may be specific factors about graduate school that make work-life balance especially challenging. One facet of work-life balance that is unique to graduate students is the nature of the work being comprised of many types of tasks, including classwork, clinical hours (often across various clinical settings), jobs (which may or may not include graduate assistantships), research duties, and professional development. Additional stress presents surrounding the time management of these varied responsibilities and tasks (Yusuf et al., 2020). While the variety of experiences can support the development of well-rounded graduates, it also requires the frequent adjustment to new roles, new supervisors, and new expectations.

Financial Stress

The life component of work-life balance can also bring challenges for graduate students. Yusuf and colleagues (2020) identified a number of stressors outside of academics that graduate students reported as stressful, including work, finances, home-life, and social-life. Finances in particular were identified as the second most common source of stress after work schedule/work obligations (Yusuf et al., 2020). Debt from graduate school loans, lack of additional funds after meeting basic needs, delaying life milestones due to financial stress, and an inability to pay for healthcare were all identified as factors of graduate student financial stress and were shown to be associated with symptoms of anxiety and depression (Szkody et al., 2023). Financial stress can be particularly impactful for graduate students who relocate and move closer to their programs due to the additional costs of moving and potentially lacking a support system when moving to a new area.  

Graduate School Culture

Graduate school requires individuals to spend a significant amount of time within the school system, so it makes sense that the social climate of the program is a contributing factor of students’ well-being. Research points to the culture of graduate school impacting students through either systems that capitalize on less expensive labor provided by graduate students (Hyun et al., 2006) or by not meeting students’ needs in facilitating self-care (Hunt et al., 2025). Alternatively, when participants identified their program as having a positive social climate, they also reported higher overall well-being (Hunt et al., 2025; Yusuf et al., 2020). This suggests that how graduate programs approach work demands and the messages surrounding self-care are significantly important for graduate students’ quality of life.

Suggestions for Systemic Change to Graduate Programs

Hunt and colleagues (2025) identified several ways graduate programs can collectively change to better support students:

• Increase financial support for students
• Create a cap on the number of hours graduate students are required to work
• Reduce the number of required courses
• Create more flexibility within the competency system, allowing students to choose which competencies to spend more time on and potentially specialize in
• Re-evaluate the current competencies, their requirements, and the various routes to meeting those requirements
• Reduce the number of clinical hours required to apply for internship
• Embed time for administrative work into trainees’ schedules
• Restructure incentives for research
• Support students’ boundaries to better manage their workload

Surviving as an Individual in a Flawed System

Looking at graduate school as an imperfect system that can be changed and improved upon is essential for making a lasting impact on future students. The research by Hunt and colleagues (2025) is a great reminder that change is possible and something we can actively strive toward. The issue I have faced as a trainee is balancing hope for the future with the reality of needing to survive within a flawed system. The following guidelines have been helpful for me as I work to provide better care for myself as a graduate student and trainee. My hope is that it will resonate with other trainees as they too work to provide self-care.

Guideline 1: Self-care isn’t a class to pass

As a student and resident perfectionist, my first inclination when facing burnout was to give myself homework. I figured if I could learn all about self-care and ways to avoid burnout then I would not experience it. I read about what burnout is, how burnout relates to stress, and ways to manage it. If self-care was a test, I wanted to ace it. It was incredibly exhausting. What I did not do was rest and I certainly did not practice self-care.

What has been helpful for me is leaning into self-compassion, listening to my body, and maintaining my boundaries (including the boundaries I created for myself). It has been important to let go of the idea of perfection when it comes to self-care practices by consistently prioritizing showing up for myself each day in the best way I can. Thinking about my values and how they diverge from the hustle culture of graduate school has also helped me say, “No” to opportunities or activities that would push me over my maximum capacity.  

Guideline 2: The frozen pizza is fine

Holding firm boundaries with myself regarding the life portion of work-life balance has also been important. I have seen this show up for me surrounding cooking and eating, feeling pressure to consistently make homemade, nutritious meals for myself and my partner nightly. This pressure has likely come from multiple sources, including finances, gender roles, and the genuine desire to support my health. The goal to cook more at home is not bad in and of itself, but the pressure I placed on myself to do it in a specific and rigid way created unnecessary stress, especially in light of all the other responsibilities I had to maintain.

Giving myself permission to take shortcuts was tremendously helpful. When I had the means, this looked like meal service kits that came with all the ingredients, pre-cut and pre-portioned. At other times, this looked like making a double batch of meals, one to eat now and one to freeze for later. Finally (and perhaps most importantly), this looked like giving myself permission to not always cook a homemade meal. I learned to appreciate the stack of frozen pizzas in my freezer that frequently served as a last-minute lifesaver by providing much needed nourishment and reduced stress from relinquishing the self-imposed pressure to maintain high standards despite their unrealistic attainability.

Guideline 3: Finding life outside the microscope

For me, graduate school often felt like living under a microscope. There seemed to be constant observation, evaluation, and comparison to other trainees who were trapped battling the same obstacles. Ruminating thoughts regarding how my client workload and clinical performance compared to other trainees seemed inescapable, especially since a significant amount of time is spent alongside classmates and colleagues who are experiencing relatable and high levels of overwhelm. Seeking support from other student trainees in this process has the potential to create environments filled with comparisons and distinctions instead of fostering a space with reliable validation, normalization, and a consistent presence.

Seth and De Cantis (2022) adequately captured my experience in their description of busy bragging; “Unfortunately in graduate school, the notion of hard work can quickly transform into a kind of ‘busy bragging’ —an urgency to constantly share your overwhelming schedule” (p. 450). The authors reflect that sharing these details with others is not always a bad thing, however, I quickly learned a consequence of the busy brag (at least for me) was the normalization of an overwhelming workload and the consistent pressure to keep up no matter what the cost.

A significant factor that allowed me to expand my world outside of the microscope was unlearning the imposed value placed on grades as well as reconnecting with parts of my life that did not involve school work or clinical training. As well-trained and proficient students, grades for high achieving graduate students are often viewed and treated as the bottom line. And while this mindset can be beneficial throughout earlier school years to motivate and engage students, maintaining high academic standards within a comparative and evaluative environment can create undue stress that may feel unfamiliar and even more uncomfortable. Shifting my mindset to focus on comprehending content and applying skills was pivotal for me to de-emphasize the significance and influence of grades on my clinical skillset and abilities. Additionally, reconnecting with important hobbies and aspects of my other identities outside of student/trainee was significantly beneficial and a crucial part to my developing self-care practices. While part of me reasoned that I could take on additional professional responsibilities, prioritizing other interests and hobbies was important to be able to view myself as something other than (and much more than) a productivity machine.

Guideline 4: Burnout is not a bad word

For a long time, I felt ashamed to admit I was burnt out; it felt like a personal failure. Not only did avoiding the word burnout not change (let alone improve) my situation, it also made me feel more alone and more ashamed. Being honest with myself was the first step to engaging in meaningful self-care. Once I was able to admit I was experiencing burnout, I felt more empowered to ask for support and I noticed my ability to manage stressors began to improve.

Conclusion

Throughout my training as a graduate student, I have learned that self-care is a requirement that cannot be ignored, especially as a trainee navigating a flawed system that prioritizes productivity and profit over personal well-being and longevity. My ability to engage in self-care is a work-in-progress and that is something I have learned to accept without complacency. I’ve also learned that work-related burnout (including for trainees and students) is not only okay, but necessary to talk about in order to change a system that creates, nurtures, and perpetuates it. And finally, I’ve come to accept that the old adage, “I’ll rest when I’m dead,” simply will not do.